yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize