Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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