I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
