Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize