I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
