I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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