we're blogging at a bar
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
