I think my vagina is haunted
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
