Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
