Fuck appropriateness.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
