it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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