his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
