I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
