Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize