he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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