i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
