Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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