Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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