Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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