That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
