I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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