Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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