She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
