But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
