Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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