There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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