I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
