you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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