Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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