Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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