Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
