He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
