last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You were trust falling into bushes
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
