Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
