Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
