I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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