Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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