Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize