One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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