Capitaan dildo arrescate!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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