Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
