a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
