Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
