tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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