I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
