I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize