My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
