I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
