Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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