Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
