so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
