we have pet lesbian snakes
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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