Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He shit in the fireplace
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
