its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
