That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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