I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
