He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
