i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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