dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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