i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
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All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
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I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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