I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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