The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
