I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
