there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
