I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize