Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
